How to Defy the Early Death of an Unused Life

Disclosure: How to Defy the Early Death of an Unused Life is a topic that requires more than a simple blog post to “master” and is covered by many books written by metaphysical experts and mental health professionals. The information provided below is an opener to a much larger discussion, a Girlfriend’s Guide on how to begin anew and live with intention rather than mild consideration.

The poet Johann Wolfgang von Goethe once said, “The unused life is an early death.” Centuries later, the sentiment still rings true, but you may ask yourself, What is an Unused Life?

The Unused Life is the opposite of living with intention. It’s going through the motions rather than actually living. The Unused Life realizes it doesn’t remember what it’s done with itself for the past 5, 10+ years.

If this resonates with you, staring at the blank page you’ve lived thus far can be difficult to confront, much less overcome. But, if you’re ready to eradicate the Unused Life and, instead, live the life you always dreamed of, it’s best to understand how you got here before moving forward so you don’t repeat your mistakes.

So, let’s break it down. Let us define the Unused Life, recognize and accept it, and then defy it.

Why? Because that’s how you tap into a life full of passion and wonder, one in which all your dreams come true.

For myself, a life of passion and wonder included becoming a published author, recently accomplished with the publication of The Happy Muse: How to Combat Creative Blocks and Tap Into A Limitless Supply of Artistic Inspiration.

But for you, it could mean anything…whatever your heart desires. So, let’s get to it.

DEFINE THE UNUSED LIFE

The proper definition of unused is “not habituated, not used, idle.” Ergo, an unused life is an idle life, not in use, not habituated. It’s disheartening, isn’t it, to not accommodate yourself within your own life.

How could you not make a habit of your own life? Not the actual physicality of it—our hearts are beating, after all—but the living of it.

Unfortunately, it’s fairly easy to do. You see, the Unused Life creeps up on you. It weasels its way in with Responsibility and then takes years to mature.

Meanwhile, Responsibility comes at you like a charging bull and you survive by grabbing its horns and never letting go. You lose focus and there’s barely a moment to notice when you let the weasel in.

It starts innocently enough: shortly after high school life just happens, and you love it or don’t. You get caught up in the fervor—good or bad, for better or worse—but somewhere along the way, the fervor begins to control you, instead of the other way around.

Somewhere along the way, you let go of the reins of your life forgetting to ask who’s holding onto them.

RECOGNIZE THE UNUSED LIFE

• An Unused Life chugs along without meaning or purpose.
• An Unused Life tends to what is required—all of the time—hardly allowing for peace or joy.
• An Unused Life is chock full of doing, devoid of thought.
• An Unused Life is paradoxical—it appears large and carefree, yet feels confined and burdensome.

But before we continue, let’s set the record straight. This is by no means a pity party. This is not regret.

We do what we have to do when we have to do it, and that’s not a bad thing. Own it and pat yourself on the back for getting this far.

You are caring, giving, loving, and strong. A true Warrior Spirit, but to start “using” your life, you’ve got to give back to yourself what you blindingly dote on others.

Now, it’s easy to get caught in the snare of obligation. It’s practically revered in our culture because it bears “fruit” (holographic though they may be) complete with a white picket fence, a two-car garage, and 2.5 children.

But Life is to be lived, not administered and maybe you wanted to live on the River Seine for a year. Instead, you cultivated a beautiful marriage and family, or your career is spot-on, or you’re enjoying a happy mix of these or the complete opposite…and yet, you still feel a little lost.

Or perhaps you’ve simply been out of touch for a while and barely recognize yourself. Maybe you’ve become apathetic and passive, instead of curious and vibrant.

• Do you complete a million tasks, yet can’t account for any of them at the end of the day?
• Do you mindlessly exclaim, “Oh, no I couldn’t,” without a moment’s thought to if you truly want to and possibly could?
• Are you reactionary rather than reckoning?

These are just a few minor examples of an Unused Life and don’t berate yourself if you’ve answered yes to any of these. It happens to all of us, myself included.

ACCEPTANCE

As I said before, there is no room for regret and there’s no looking back. What is done (or not done) is in the past, over with, but hope for the future is never lost.

The you that was you, is still you, and it’s going to be so much fun to unfold and reveal yourself to yourself. It’s going to be so much fun to un-become and to let your light shine.

It’s high time you reclaimed the reins of your life from whomever, and say, “Thanks for all your help, but I’m good now. I’ve got this.”

Yes, you had hopes and dreams and feelings and reflections, and maybe it’s been years since you “used” any of them. Maybe you allowed yourself to disappear within the mist of thoughtless action, but who cares? That was yesterday. You took care of everything and everyone, and you did your best. Show yourself some grace; cut yourself some slack.

Besides, the ‘woe is me’ attitude is—dare I say—decadent. And it wastes time. All that matters is that you are aware right here, right now, and that today is the first day of the rest of your life.

Starting anew can be exciting. Accept the past. Accept yourself, and embrace what is to come.

DEFY THE UNUSED LIFE

So, how do you defy the Unused Life? How do you switch from not using your life, per se, to living with intention?

Step One: Awareness and Acceptance

Although mentioned above, awareness and acceptance bear reminding because of their importance. You simply cannot change anything about yourself, your circumstances, or your surroundings, if you’re not honest with yourself about how you feel today.

You start by looking at yourself in the proverbial mirror and identifying and owning the part you played in your circumstances to date and the parts out of your control. Take a moment to fully comprehend those attributes, accept them as they are—with no emotional strings—and fully embody the need for change.

Then, declare aloud that you’re ready to grow, to expand, and to live a life full of passion and wonder.

However, there is one important aspect to keep in mind…

Step Two: Approach

Once you’re honest with yourself that you’re ready to be the best version of yourself, you have to do so with a smile. Love yourself through it.

You can’t grow into emotional well-being from a place of negativity and admonishment. And you can’t do it without love. It simply won’t happen, and this is one of the keys to living with intention.

When you approach everything in life with love, care, and purpose, you’re intentionally working in your own best interest. You’re making a conscious thought to act and choosing to find happiness in the process. It’s an attitude adjustment.

The seemingly simple modification can be applied to both mundane and exciting endeavors. For instance, I listen to loud music and sing when I clean the house. And I have fun. There may even be dancing involved.

The point is I choose to make the task as enjoyable as possible. I elect to revel instead of distress by focusing on the desired outcome and aligning my actions with that intention. I sometimes even look forward to cleaning my house because it’s an opportunity to move my body, jam out to some of my favorite music, and walk away with a clean, crisp home.

Algebra rules the world, baby: A (positive outlook) + B (chore gets done) = C (I’m happy)

Smiling and having a positive outlook instantly makes you feel lighter, freer, and happier. Give it a try—smile right now! You might laugh at yourself because it feels weird to smile for “no apparent reason” but you’ll notice you feel less tense, softer, and malleable. This sets the stage for whatever comes next, including the less desirable tasks on your to-do list.

Within a welcoming spirit, you can move mountains because when you change your attitude, you change your perspective and you change your life.

Step Three: You Start Today

What does it mean to start today? It means not moving to that houseboat on the River Seine. Those were the dreams of your youth, the dreams of the past, and today, you have other dreams.

I’m not who I was at 18 or 28, and I’m happy about that because it’s proof that I’ve evolved, matured, grown, and expanded my universe.

Starting today doesn’t mean you pick up where you were at eighteen, erasing all the positive things you’ve accomplished and experienced thus far.

It means you start today, where you are today. You bloom where you are planted.

Step 4: Take Action

This is the fun part! You defy the Unused Life by finding purpose again, by tapping into what makes you happy, what sparks your interest, what you’re passionate about.

You discover your purpose by reconnecting with your soul, which has always been there waiting for you, and from that moment forward, you live with intention.

You reconnect with your soul and find joy by directing the energy of your Warrior Spirit inward. The care, love, generosity, and strength you give to others must also be given to yourself.

Why?

• Because you are your first advocate…
• Because you are responsible for your happiness…
• And because you deserve it…and you know it.

This is the ultimate self-care tip: allow yourself to love yourself the way you love others.

STARTING OUT

You’re probably wondering, This is all well and good, but how do I start today?

It may seem daunting, at first, to begin living differently—without the security blankets you’ve stitched together throughout your life—but that’s only because it’s unfamiliar territory. Like any new venture, it gets easier with practice.

The key to making this shift is starting small and reconnecting with the essence of who you are. You do that by getting reacquainted with yourself. Settle down with a hot cup of coffee and ask yourself,

• What do I like to do?
• Where would I like to go?
• What would I like to try?

It doesn’t have to be grandiose. Life is simple. Humans complicate things. Guilt only adds to the complexity, and we are masters at it. You’re almost ashamed to feel lost or that something is missing in your life because it’s as if you’re spitting in the face of your blessings.

Don’t do that to yourself. You are equally as important as those you love and care for.

Remember, you bolster your abilities as a caregiver when you are cared for. Therefore, you pay your blessing forward and everyone wins.

Ask More Questions and Go Slow

Do you want to read more, exercise more, or perhaps take a class? Travel? Make new friends? Take up a sport?

While you ask yourself these questions, don’t worry about the current state of affairs. Today is for the luxury of rumination. An idea might have already come to mind; that thing that you’ve been putting off because you feel guilty taking time out for yourself. Or because you think you’re not good enough, or it sounds silly, or any other untruths you tell yourself out of fear.

And don’t concern yourself if nothing comes to mind. You don’t have to answer any of this right now. Take time to sit with the pleasure of knowing that today, you decided to take action.

Integrate this comfy feeling of love, hope, joy, and aspiration. There are so many wonderful opportunities awaiting you.

Romance the thrilling expectation of it all, and allow yourself time to marinate with promise.

In the meantime, the following are several “marinating” activities you can do to get your creative juices flowing:

• Meditation and Prayer.
• Adult Coloring Books.
• Nature Walks – around the block is just fine!
• Caring for Animals.
• Visit a Museum.
• Listen to Soft Music.
• Sleep – proper sleep works wonders.
• Change One Aspect of Your Daily Routine – go left instead of right next time.
• Rearrange Furniture.
• Sit in a Chair and Just Be Silent.

Any of these activities helps you break free from your usual routine, stepping outside of yourself. When you do, your conscious mind naturally shifts toward awareness, because it no longer rests comfortably within the familiar.

These activities force you to relax and be silent. And now a word about Silence.

Silence is golden.

While silence is soothing for some, and distracting for others, it is also divine. The answers you seek lie in the Quiet. Magic and wonder await you within the Silence.

Just five minutes of quiet can change your life dramatically.

WRAP UP

Today’s Nugget: You defy the Unused Life by living with purpose. You live with purpose by making conscious thoughts, within a positive frame of mind, and seek joy every day.

This is how you live a life full of promise, a life full of passion and wonder. When you do this, you live, you love, and you grow every day.

Be Well!